I remember going through the hardest most painful break up of my life a little over a year ago. After the break up I was so afraid that I had lost my future husband and my future.
In the late nights following our break up I replayed the conversations we had about the life we would build together; everything from where we would buy a home to how much we would work and what we would do for child care.
I would cry myself to sleep because I had lost so much but also because I was so afraid of the future now that I had no idea what it held. I thought I would never meet a man who I would love as much as I loved him. I would never have the life I wanted without him to build it with.
And to be honest, I haven’t had another relationship yet, and I may not get the future we had planned. But that’s okay now.
Slowly but surely I’m learning to have faith.
Everything in my life will work out. It may not be what I pictured and it probably won’t happen exactly how or when I want it to. But I have faith now that it will all work itself out. I believe that I don’t need to hold on to anyone or anything so tightly, that who and what will be mine will be mine regardless of my attempts to control things.
Now I realize that my life and my future aren’t tied to anyone or anything that leaves.
If he left than I guess he isn’t my future husband and that life we planned wasn’t my future life. That’s ok, it just means that someone else is going to be my future husband and my future life will still unfold, just not the way I had it planned. God or a higher power or The Universe has a better plan for my life and me, and I can trust in that.
Now on days when I feel afraid because things aren’t going the way I had planned I remind myself that I can let go of my idea of how things should be and relax into how things are, knowing that they are happening exactly as they’re meant to.